this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
