I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My bed smells like the plague
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
