Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
