I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
