She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
