I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
