I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize
