Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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