she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Randomize