His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
