Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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