What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
