hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
