Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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