So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
