it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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