You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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