Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
