Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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