so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
