Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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