What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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