yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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