y did u give ur computer a hand job?
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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