he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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