It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
