Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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