So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
