I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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