I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
