Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You're a waste of cheezeits
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
