Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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