So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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