I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
