i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
