at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
