shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
