Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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