Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
