so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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