Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
