Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
