Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
ok first of all what the fuck
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize