she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
