4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
