I want to walk on stilts...naked
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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