I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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