he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
