i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
