just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
