I don't remember. Are we still dating?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
