well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
