Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Randomize
