I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
this just has baby written all over it
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
