so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
