I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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