you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize