Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
