so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
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