Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
