we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
