I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
i out mim tonsoeep
Will exercising make me less horny?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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