you mean i was at the winter classic?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
