I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
