normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize