I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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